These are excerpts from Kevin's narrative to Manuel throughout their first week together. Update 1: Thank you for meeting with me today. I learned a lot about myself and about you.
Today was harder than yesterday for me. I was in pain (physically and emotionally), and still dealing with sleep problems.
Thank you so much for today's meeting. I had a very eventful day. I met with my regular doctor, who is completely behind the decisions I've made concerning improving my diet. I found out how much I weigh. In December I weighed 412 lbs. Today I weighed 405.2 lbs. (Honestly I thought I weighed more than that). I met with my therapist, where we discussed some of the reasons why I overeat. I realize that this will be a continuing thread in my work with him; dealing with the issues that have led me to over 400 pounds. My therapist is completely behind me changing and improving my overall health. I know that I can count on his support during this new direction in my life. I did some volunteer work at Congregation Sha'ar Zahav this evening. Knowing that this day would be packed, however, I did not prepare very well for my eating today. I did not pack snacks for while I was out and about today. I ended up eating dinner late, and eating more calories than I should have. So my "fear" is that if I make one mistake that our work together is over. I know that this is my mind talking, not you. I realize that I am at the beginning of this journey with you, and that I know that I will make mistakes. But I did want to let you know what I was feeling at this moment. I know that tomorrow is another day, and I get another chance (God willing) to do the best I can. As our new President (and you) have said (my paraphrase), "Dust yourself off, pick yourself up and start all over again." Thank you for your support!
Update 2: Thanks for your email this morning. I am interested in learning how to deal with setbacks. (Personally I like that word better than slip) I am feeling good today. I reached out to a friend today who is willing to help me on my new journey. I am creating a support system for success. I went for a 10 minute walk in the Castro this afternoon. It was gorgeous today. I am going to try and eat more of my allowances earlier in the day, so that I eat 70% of my calories before dinner. Tomorrow I am going for a longer walk with a good friend. I am trying to keep my focus at one moment at a time. I can get distracted, but I know that I can return to being in the moment.