21Apr09: I am not feeling well this evening. I am having cramping in my abdomen. I ate some fruit earlier today, and did not eat a full lunch,(string cheese and dried apricots). I ate dinner; I had a hamburger with Milton's bread for the bun, baby spinach salad with some leftover brussels sprouts. For a snack I had a tangelo and an apple. I am trying to drink as much water as I can. If I am not better in the morning I will go to the store and maybe get some soup and cook some plain brown rice. I will let Billy know as well what's going on. I had a good workout with Billy. He is preparing me for when he is away next week. Otherwise I enjoyed the beautiful weather we are having. I hope that your week is going well. 22 Apr 09: Today I was not feeling well. I did not get to the gym, and stayed in bed. I did go out to get some soup, and did eat some crackers along with a tuna sandwich. I am still not 100% better. Maybe it was the heat. I wish that I was feeling better. I'm going to bed shortly.

23 Apr 09: I hope that your week is going well. When I woke up, I was feeling better and was able to get out and enjoy the day. I had another great workout with Billy today. Since he will be gone next week, we have been working so that I will be able to do the workout on my own. It will be a challenge, but I think I am ready to do it. I saw my therapist today. We discussed food. Not only my relationship with it but how I use food to hide. It is such a huge part of this great change I am making in my life. I hope that soon I will be able to find other ways to reward and to take care of myself. I want to change my relationship with food from dependence to fuel. I see my therapist again on Monday afternoon. This evening, I attended a memorial for my friend's father. It was nice to see so many of Kelley's friends there to support her. There was a ton of food, and I was able to navigate through the buffet without overeating or feeling guilty. I chose not to eat dessert.

24 Apr 09: I went to the grocery store after doing cardio at DIAKADI. I had a friend come over to visit. It was nice to see my friend Andrew. I stayed home and had a quiet evening.

25 Apr 09: Today I wanted to pig out. I spent the day laying around. I knew that on Sunday I would be going to the park to do the homework that Billy had given me. I went to Walgreens and picked up some items. I stayed home after and watched a movie.I had some popcorn that I had bought. But when I looked at your website and saw what regular popcorn would be I ended up just cooking dinner instead. I'll have to go find the popcorn that might work better for me. I'm feeling a bit unsure now that Billy is gone. I hope that I can get to the gym on my own.

26 Apr 09: Thanks for your email this morning. Here is my workout schedule for the week: Mon. Weight Training 10:30AM Tue. Weight Training 10:15AM Wed. Cardio Training after my appt. with you Thu. Weight Training 10AM Fri. Cardio Training 10AM Sat. or Sun. Homework I am planning to go to the gym soon after I get up in the morning, except for Wednesday, since I'll be seeing you at 11:30AM. Today I got some house stuff done. Cleaned the bathroom and did the laundry and dishes. I have to get my place cleaned up, I am a packrat, and I need to get rid of some stuff. You could say I'm doing it not only with my body but also my apartment!

27 Apr 09: I got to the gym soon after I got up this morning. I went through the typical Monday workout. There was one exercise that I was completely clueless on what is was. Billy said it was OK if I missed one. What was so amazing about the workout was that four separate people came up to me to tell me how good I was looking and how they noticed that my body was changing. I was completely caught off-guard. I thanked each person for what they said. It made my workout more meaningful today. I met with my therapist this afternoon and discussed options for how to approach the next steps in my recovery. I attended my Bridge class. We ended up playing with the "big boys" since they were short 1 couple. I think we got our clock cleaned, as they say. I came home with a headache and hungry. I had a bit of food and I'm ready to take my evening meds. I hope that the headache goes away.

Author: Kevin Johnson, 2009 Commit to Fit Winner