14 Jun 09 Thanks for responding to my email so quickly. I chose not to open the package and I took the donuts downstairs and gave them to the overnight doormen and porters. When I asked them if they would eat them, they smiled and said yes. I told them I couldn't eat them. I have ended communication with my family, probably for good. I no longer need their approval or love. Taking the donuts downstairs was hard, but you are right, I am strong. Thank you for your love and support. I am grateful. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

15 Jun 09

I was still feeling a bit sad about my weekend when I arrived at the gym for my workout with Billy, but by the time I left the gym I was feeling a lot better. Billy was very supportive today. I headed over to Trader Joe's after the gym and per Billy's suggestion I walked home from Trader Joe's, which I have not done before. I had a very good session with my therapist. Both my therapist and Billy told me that I was strong. I'm starting to believe it more and more each day. Thanks for your support over the weekend, and for reading my emails. Have a great week.

16 Jun 09

I went to the gym early and did my workout with Billy. He's been showing me what I should be doing when he leaves for vacation in early July. We are still doing the circuit training, which is intense. After training with Billy, I met with Danny at Positive Resource Center. I've attended a recent workshop that they offered, and felt like it was time to start thinking about making this transition. One step at a time.

17 Jun 09

Today I spent the morning in bed. I just did not want to get up and start the day. I finally got out and ate some breakfast. Then I got ready for my appointment with the sleep doctor. I was running late, so when I got there I did not have to wait very long to see her. She said that she had good news and neutral news. She told me that I will still need to use the CPAP machine, but that I am no longer waking up as much as I was when I began seeing her. She would like me to take another sleep study once I'm down another 60 pounds or so. I got behind on sending you my reports as well as putting down my food online. I'm caught up now. I'm going to apologize to my cousin for the hurtful things I said, but I will also tell him that I do not want to see him or my family for a while, maybe for good. There are times when the people in your family are toxic. I thought I needed their approval or love. I get that love and support from the family that I have created on my own. I am grateful for my chosen family.

18 Jun 09

I hope that your week is going well. I was reminded today of how some people can be rude to others. I went to the gym today, not in the best of spirits. I did a pretty good workout(410 cal). Then walked over to the grocery store to pick up some fruit. I cooked pasta tonight. I have not cooked a meal in a while. I used the Gimme Lean veggie "meat" to make the meatballs for the spaghetti I made. It wasn't bad. I'll have the rest I made for lunch tomorrow. I am going to volunteer as a monitor for the "Jews for Pride" contingent in the SF Pride Parade. I'll be going to a training tomorrow at the LGBT Center.

19 Jun 09

Today I did not want to get out of bed. I felt congested and after eating breakfast I went back to bed. After having a bite to eat I went downstairs to workout in the building gym. I felt better, and then I went to the contingent training for the Pride parade at the LGBT Center. The place was packed. I guess people wanted to get the training done before the Frame line festival got under way. Had a nice dinner at home. I hope that you have a nice weekend, and thanks for reading my emails.

Author: Kevin Johnson, Commit to Fit, 2009 Winner