27 Jun 09Today was action packed. I ran a couple of errands before meeting my friend Avi for coffee and conversation. Then my friend Alan, Richard and I went for drinks at the Pilsner. (I had a Diet Coke)Came home and had a sandwich. I feel OK at the moment, and know that I better get to bed soon so that I can get a bit of sleep. Complete report tomorrow. I hope we run into each other at Civic Center. 29 Jun 09 Thank you for your email this afternoon. I had a good session with my therapist. Loving myself is something I've never quite understood and still struggle with. How does one love oneself when you never learned? How do you love yourself? I had a struggle with food again today. I had breakfast after I got out of bed at 2PM.(No lunch or snacks today, just cheerios, 1% milk, strawberries)Then I met my therapist. I went to the Safeway near the Golden Gateway apartments,(Battery and Clay, I think)It's a very small market, smaller than the one at 4th and King Streets. I gave myself permission to buy anything I wanted. I came out of the store with the following:1 pint Strawberry Sorbet (Safeway brand, ate 1 cup of it)1 loaf Garlic Sourdough bread (ate 4 slices with Smart Balance spread on them)1 whole chicken (ate the dark meat off on the first half, saved the breast and the second half in the refrigerator)1 liter clear (Safeway brand) sugar-free soda. Even though I wanted to buy stuff that I could binge on, I didn't. I came home and fixed dinner (I also had a salad of baby spinach)started laundry and even though I did not make it to DIAKADI today(I was supposed to work out on my own today)I ended up doing 30 minutes of cardio on the treadmill in my  building's gym this evening. I'm not out of the woods yet. Pray that I find a way back. 30 Jun 09 I hope that your Tuesday went well. I am feeling a bit better today. I know I have some work to do around loving myself, and I know I must continue to move forward. Today I went to the gym and worked out without Billy. I did cardio last night in the building gym, so today I did my "monday" workout. I was there for about an hour or so. Then I ran some errands, came home and fixed dinner. My food is getting a bit better each day. It was easier to stay on plan today than it was yesterday. Tonight I am tired, so I am going to bed early. I've got a busy day tomorrow. I am hoping to plan my food accordingly. I think I am behind again on logging my food in. I plan on catching up tomorrow morning. Thanks for your love and support. 01 Jul 09 Sorry for the delay, but here is the report from yesterday: I had a good day. My friend Julia had gotten me some clothes from a friend's estate. She thought I might want to try them on to see if they fit me. Almost everything did! I was surprised since they were sizes I have not fit into for a long time. There were a few items that were too small, but not for long!  We then went for a long walk around Mission Bay Park. The weather was amazing, and so was the company. Julia had with her a friend's Boston Terrier named Grace. Then I met my friends Chris and Fred for coffee. Then I went to Safeway to pick up some spinach and fruit. Came home and had a nice dinner. I believe that I am caught up now with entering my meals online. I am now off to DIAKADI to do my Thursday workout. Have a nice Fourth of July, and give my best to Jeff. 02 Jul 09 I did not want to get out of bed today. But once I did I was able to get some things done. I went to the gym to do my Thursday workout. My workout went well, and from there I did a bit of shopping before coming home and having some dinner. I've been relaxing for the rest of the evening. I am about to go to bed, and wanted to give you an update. I'm feeling OK. I'm seeing a friend on Friday for dinner. My friend Andrew will soon be leaving for a few months while he finishes his new book.  Tomorrow I will be doing my Tuesday workout on Friday at DIAKADI. I did a walk on Tuesday and thought I would switch it up. I hope that you have a nice Fourth of July weekend. 03 Jul 09 I'm staying up late again, which means I am sleeping in the mornings as opposed to getting up first thing to start my day. I hope that I can slowly switch back to getting to bed before 11PM. I went to the gym to do my Tuesday workout on Friday. Since I did a walk on Tuesday, I wanted to make sure that I got to the gym three days during the week. This means that I was able to get to the gym on my own while Billy was in Maui. It would have been a perfect time for me to slack off, but since I was Client of the Month last month at DIAKADI, I did not want to disappoint myself! I met my friend Andrew for a meal at Red Jade, and then we attended services at the synagogue. I stayed after services, and after walking Andrew home I decided to go out with some folks from the temple who went to Lookout for pizza. (I had two small pieces of Cheese pizza). 04 Jul 09: I got a text message from Billy on Sunday saying that he was going to extend his vacation another day, so we were not going to train together. So I overslept and did not get to the gym yesterday. I ended up not getting out of bed until around 11AM or so. Then I wanted to go back to bed, which I did. I got up soon before my doctor's appointment. My doctor was very impressed with my progress. According to the scale at the doctor's office, I'm down 91 pounds since January. I know that it's not official until I see you on  Wednesday, so I have not made any announcements to anyone except you and my  therapist. I'm trying not to have any expectations about the weigh-in on Wednesday. I then came home and had a meal before going to bridge lessons. They started up last week, I was originally not going to go since my partner has been away. But I did go, and played with someone who has less experience than me. I think we did OK, considering it was his second time playing bridge. I tried to be patient with him. I can't expect someone who has only played twice to know everything. I was gracious and thank him for his patience with me. I decided also last night to play in a Pro-Am Bridge Tournament this Saturday. I know that I tried to play in one in the past which left me spent and frustrated, but I will be able to play with someone who has many years experience and it might actually be fun to play with the big boys (or girls for that matter). Wish me luck. I did go to a party to watch the fireworks. I met some friends near the Stockton Street tunnel, where we took the bus up to North Beach where we had to walk to my friend's home on Bay Street.(the bus driver said he could no go any further)We got started late, but made it just in time to watch them from their patio. It was great since the fog was pretty high near Fisherman's Wharf. When we left the party, we could not find a bus. So we ended up walking from Bay and Columbus to my house at Third and Mission. I was not out of breath but was tired from the walk. I probably would not have been able to do that in January.

Author: Kevin Johnson, Commit to Fit winner 2009