09 Aug 10Today is one of those dates where the number for the month, day and year are consecutive: 8/9/10. Anyway, there’s a lot going on. Billy texted me this morning to let me know that he was not feeling well. I ended up doing cardio in the building gym as we did not train today. I then went out to play bridge this evening with Richard (which was fun)but when I got home I received an email from Billy informing me that he was in the ER and about to get a CAT scan. Billy said in the email that he has kidney stones. So I won't be training with him tomorrow either. Not sure how long it will take for him to pass the stones, and I can't imagine the pain he must be in. I am praying for a swift and pain-free recovery. I decided that I am going to ask that my Columbia Application be considered for the Spring 2011 semester. I am also scared about my upcoming surgery. I know that it's something that has been done before, just not on me! I can't project anything about the future, for it only wrecks havoc on my present. However I've noticed that my food has been slippery. It has been hard not to stay within the 2000 calorie limit. I've got to get over this hump I'm on. I just need to let go. And I know that works. Pray that the fear that has been holding me back the past few days is lifted, and that I can finally relax and continue on this journey of discovery.

10 Aug 10 It was weird not working out today with Billy. I have not heard the latest news, so I have nothing to report on that front. I did talk to Columbia today and faxed over my request to have my application submitted for the Spring 2011 semester. They have received the Official transcript from City College, so now it's up to them to decide. I'm not sure when that will be, all I know is that the first day of classes for Spring start January 18th, 2011. That's actually not that far away. I met today with my therapist. He is going to Ibiza for a vacation and I Will not get to see him next week. We had a good session.  We talked about Billy and my decision to have my application considered for the Spring semester. I am looking forward to meeting with you tomorrow.

15 Aug 10 Not a good day, nor a great day. Was going to meet Avi, but he was in the emergency room at Davies with possible Strep Throat. So we did not get to meet today. I really wanted to talk to him about the stuff that's going on. I felt isolated today, and just went back into my shell. Not the best thing to do, perhaps. When I do that my food suffers. It did. I'm sorry, but I am scared about this surgery, and I want some more answers about it NOW. I love when people say: "Oh, it's common surgery." or "you'll be well in no time." Do I need to remind these people that they've NEVER had this kind of surgery (I don't know anyone who has, mind you) and that NONE of them are Doctors or having the surgery themselves.

24 Aug 2010 Thanks for your email this morning. I will make sure to look extra spiffy for our appointment this week! I went and worked out on my own this morning at Diakadi. Then I went to see my therapist. He had been away on vacation, and I caught him up on the latest in my life. We talked about the fear I have around the surgery, and I feel a lot better getting it off my chest (no pun here) with Dr. Sabin. Then I went to see my regular Doc, who was very encouraging about the process. He checked me out and gave me the OK and filled out the necessary paperwork which I will bring to my appointment with the surgeon tomorrow afternoon. This evening I was caught completely off guard with a MUNI meltdown right when I was supposed to be at Bridge. Richard was frantic looking for me, I finally showed up after taking more than an hour to get from my house to the Castro. Not sure what happened, but because I'm a lighter person I was able to run and catch a F streetcar! That felt great. Richard was glad to see me, but I am not sure I played my best because of the added MUNI stress. Will they EVER get this joke of a transit system fixed? Came home and I'm about ready for bed. I will send the final list to the Dream Team in the morning.

Author: Kevin Johnson, Commit to Fit Winner, 2009