Every time I start a coaching engagement with a new client – the first question I ask is:
What’s your story?
By “story”, I don’t necessarily mean your background or your first love. I mean your limiting beliefs.
We all have them. The things that we know we can’t do. Sometimes there’s one big one. Sometimes there are several.
Over the years, I’ve had several of them, all with good reasons.
I am skinny. I am not strong.
For as long as I can remember, my parents have always tried to get me to eat more food. I was a preemie and I got sick often as a child. Clearly I was weak.
You have to work extremely hard to make things happen. Nothing worth having comes easily.
I always studied extremely hard and sacrificed free time to get the grades. My brother had a good time. Guess who had the better grades? You have to work hard and sacrifice – otherwise you don’t do well in school.
In order to make money, you need to do things that you don’t want to do. This means working at a career that pays well even if you don’t like it. It’s the price you pay for the privilege of making “good money”.
I spent 12 years as an actuary in corporate America. I had a lot of respect, made a lot of money – and I was surrounded by other people who also didn’t like their job. Who actually likes work?
You need to finish what you’ve started. Always. After all, you’ve invested all that time, energy and money right?
I had to continue to be an actuary. I had to keep trying to make my marriage work. What kind of person quits when things get difficult? (But wait…what if the relationship is doomed and the other person simply abandons the relationship and walks away?)
I’ve come to realize that these beliefs though were not real. Just my subjective interpretations of the rules of life.
Beliefs are certainty in what you think something means. They are a way for your mind to create meaning from your experiences.
Here’s the kicker. Because they are based on YOUR interpretation of your experiences, they are subjective. In other words, they are not necessarily true.
Here’s why I’ve come to realize my former beliefs are bullshit:
Last week I did 5 sets of 3 pull-ups with 21lbs on a weight belt. Strong? F*ck Yeah!
Hard work is the only way?
The key things in my business that have led to my growth have happened EASILY. Almost effortlessly.
You shouldn’t enjoy work?
I am making money doing something that is so far away from the definition of ‘work’ for me. I LOVE MY JOB.
You can’t quit?
My new philosophy? If I don’t like it – I quit. Yeah. I only have room in my life for AWESOME. If it’s not awesome, it’s time to move on.
So what does all this mean? And why is it important?
Your beliefs determine your thoughts that determine your actions and therefore your results.
For most of my life, I saw myself as weak and acted in a ‘weak’ way, avoiding situations that required any kind of strength, however fun it looked. Once I called bullshit on this belief, I made a new goal and was determined to see myself as strong and powerful. Today, I believe that about myself and therefore I think that and I take the actions of a strong person and lo and behold, I get strong!
With work, I had to change my fundamental belief about what I wanted it to mean to me. You can do work that you love and be successful. Work can and should be fun!
What really matters can be obtained EASILY. EFFORTLESSLY.
Do you see how critical it is for you to fundamentally change what you believe in order to achieve the results you want?
How do you feel about your life? What do you really want? Take a deep look – your beliefs may be limiting you.
It’s time to do something about it.